i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
