I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am midnight drunk by noon
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
