just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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