Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
