Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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