im drinking this country out of the recession.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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