so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
