i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
