How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize