Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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