Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
love makes seman taste better
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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