Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize