Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
