Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
