I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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