Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
