Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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