that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
