I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
