you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
