i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
