I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are my feet made of real feet?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
