The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
