Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
