I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
