is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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