bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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