He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Say something about gay babies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
