im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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