There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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