TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
