i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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