It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
