He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
