East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
