the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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