I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
home. puking in laundry basket.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
