It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
