I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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