Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize