If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Houston, we have a blender
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
