you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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