Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are we still banned from the library?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
