note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
