Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
