i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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