I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
