jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
