i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
