I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
