Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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