Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
