If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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