Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
