I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
