A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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