what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just high enough for therapy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
