fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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