that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
