I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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