Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
