Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
